I am struggling with this post. Really struggling. I think I know what to say, but not how to say it. My last post was January 8, 2018, but my last true (original) blog post was back in 2017, over a year ago! After such a protracted absence, an explanation is required.
So what happened? The short answer is A LOT. That seems like a cop out so I’ll clarify, and say life happened.
At the beginning of 2017, I got a promotion on my nine-to-five, I really BIG promotion which meant more responsibility which translates into an even bigger time commitment. BIG important title with a BIG important pay raise. Something had to go, so reading, writing, and blogging were all sacrificed.
And then the family stuff, some good, some not so good. The good – the really good, extraordinary in fact – is my oldest son graduating from high school and starting his first year of college. We are extremely proud of him, but it was no easy feat. As a child, my son idolized Peter Parker aka Spiderman (played by Toby Maguire). In one of the movies, a professor described Peter Parker as “brilliant but lazy.” This is my oldest son every day of the week and twice on Sunday. But he – rather we – made it. My son is happily ensconced in the hallowed halls of academia two hours away. And I miss him terribly.
The not so good involved major health crises with members of my family, all of which seemed to occur simultaneously. I was literally fielding calls and text messages while sitting at my big important job trying to decide which direction my car would travel. I was making life and death decisions, pondering whose bedside required the most immediate visit, and the level of survivor’s guilt I could stomach if I choose wrong. Dramatic yes, but I am not exaggerating. At all. Fortunately, everyone is on the mend, but the situation remains precarious, and I remain hyper-vigilant, just waiting for the next phone call.
In the midst of this three-ring circus, the cracks began to show. Like really, really show. And not just cracks.
Huge, gaping holes.
The weight became unbearable.
The foundation gave way.
I fell apart.
In reality, the old me fell away, and the real me started to emerge. I had to make some changes. Not just words, but real changes.
First, I cried. A LOT (still do, in fact!)
I started seeing a therapist.
I took a much-needed vacation.
I started journaling.
I rediscovered reading.
I returned to my writing.
kay returned to Kay Morris Writes.
I am pursuing my passion once again, rebuilding my foundation.
And it feels marvelous.